Mother Issues
by AShadowsKiss
Summary: It was just one of those nights with his mother testing him and his failing and hitting and hurting and blood and sharp edges and tears and this deep understanding of why. Why she did things like that; he could understand.


Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless or any of its characters.

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It was just one of those nights with his mother testing him and his failing and hitting and hurting and blood and sharp edges and tears and this deep understanding of why. Why she did things like that; he could understand.

He wasn't who he used to be after all, he wasn't her son. He was, someone who had replaced her son, someone so unlike whom she lost, she couldn't handle it. So she did the only thing she thought she could do, she tried to chase the intruder away. But where could he go? Even with being as fake as he was, he didn't have anywhere else to go.

And Seimei, his big brother, his protector; Seimei, still had faith in him coming back. He had tried to disappear; he really had, just to make Seimei happy. But he had failed time and time again. And then Seimei himself died, before Ritsuka could prove that he would do anything to make Seimei happy.

The only thing Seimei left him with, the only thing he could feel save with and in and near… was not a thing but a person… Soubi… Soubi, whom held him and kissed him and comforted him and hugged him and protected him and promised he'd do anything for him. Good old Soubi, who listened to Seimei regardless of everything.

And now, he was standing behind Ritsuka, hands on the younger boy's shoulders and softly pulling him away from the door which was hiding his mother. He had come for reasons completely unknown to Ritsuka. He had already spent the entire day with his fighter. They had practiced their battling and spells and teamwork, Youji and Natsuo had helped them too. Somehow he had made it back home in time, but just barely. His mother had been waiting with dinner and tests and everything escalated from there on.

Somewhere during their struggle Ritsuka's mom had pushed a knife into his lower back and she'd repeatedly hit him with a frying pan. He could still feel the pain, but it didn't really register anymore, not while he was so worried about his mom.

"Ritsuka, you should let me treat your wounds and go to sleep… Please…"

"Soubi! It's not about me! I don't matter Soubi! Don't you see?! Without me, she'd be happier anyway, and now, all I do is hurt her… I mean, she doesn't mean to hurt me, I know she doesn't. She can't… she can't help it… She doesn't mean too…"

"Ritsuka… you can't, reason with hysterics. When your mom, when she tries to hit you, you should hide… I don't like seeing you getting hurt and not being aloud to do something about it…"

"You promised Seimei to care for me, after all… Just leave Soubi, you don't understand…"

"Make me understand."

"How? By ordering you?! You know I can't!"

"Ritsuka…"

"I'm not going to punish you for not understanding either!"

Ritsuka shrugged Soubi of and pressed his ear against the door. He didn't hear anything on the other side, not even breathing. What had she done to herself? Was she okay? Was she even still alive? Ritsuka didn't know, wasn't sure if he wanted to know even if he had too. Soubi pulled him away again.

"Soubi, please… If you insist on staying here, sit down somewhere or something, but please…"

"Ritsuka… you're bleeding. I can't leave…"

Ritsuka sighed and leaned back against the door. It was so quiet on the other side, way to quiet, he couldn't understand. What was she doing? Was she trying to leave this world? Sick and tired of waiting for Seimei to return, even though she had said herself that death was the end. She couldn't leave this world though, what if the real Ritsuka came back? Then, he'd be alone… Soubi wouldn't be his either, and other then him, there was no one else beside his mother. She wouldn't really abandon Ritsuka like that, right? She had to care about him, feel some emotion if she was wiling to spent her time testing and beating him… she wasn't… emotionless or something…

"Mom? Please open the door… I just want to know if you're okay… and you haven't eaten yet, you should. You should care for yourself… please… just eat something…"

He knocked softly and listened if she'd react. But there was nothing, no reaction at all; she hadn't even thrown something against the door to chase him away. He couldn't help it, he had to give up. His head was pounding, his back hurt and he was so tired. All he wanted to do at this point was curl up in bed and sleep it all away. He couldn't even walk though… He tried to step away from the door, only to stumble and fall back against it. Even now, she didn't react. Still no loud thump on the other side to show she was definitely still alive…

Soubi carefully picked him up and carried him all the way back to his bedroom, Ritsuka didn't even have the power to object. Without much ado Soubi took of Ritsuka's shirt and laid him face down on his bed. While Ritsuka faded in and out of consciousness Soubi cleaned his back and bandaged his wounds. The last thing he saw before falling asleep was Soubi standing up and smiling a little at his handiwork.

Soubi leaned down and kissed Ritsuka softly before tucking him in. As Ritsuka slept, Soubi sneaked down the stairs and into Ritsuka's mothers bedroom, she was sprawled out on the bed, sleeping.


End file.
